How to Build Relationships with Potential Clients

Are You Trying to Go Too Fast with Your Marketing Relationships?

A couple sits in a cafe. They’ve enjoyed a nice meal and now sip after-dinner coffee. Overall, it has been a great time. Jokes, laughter, losing themselves in the conversation. After about an hour and a half, the conversation takes an interesting turn…

Pat: I’m so glad you said “yes” when I asked if you wanted to get coffee with me. I admit I had been thinking about it for a while, but I just couldn’t get the courage up to actually invite you out on a date.

Sam: Really? I didn’t know that. I’ve been interested in you for quite some time. I’m glad you finally asked me. So glad. I think if I had to wait any longer I was either going to give up or ask you myself.

The two of them laugh for a moment.

Pat: I know. It’s just that this kind of thing is really hard for me. But it was definitely the best thing I’ve done all week. I’ve had an absolutely wonderful time today.

Sam: So have I. And I hate to cut it short like this, but I am going to have to get moving soon.

Pat: No worries. I totally understand. But…before you go I just have a quick, and yet very important question to ask you.

Pat pulls a small box out of a pocket and opens it for Sam to see the ring inside. Getting down on one knee…

Pat: Sam, will you marry me?

Sam: (with a deer-in-headlights look) Um, no. That’s kind of creepy. I think it’s time for me to leave.

If you didn’t already know this, you should never pop the big question at the end of the first date. Dating serves a purpose: It’s how we gauge our chemistry with another person to see if we’re a good match for the long term.

It’s important to take time to get to know them and find out what their quirks are. You need to find out where their soft spots are, what triggers them in a less-than-pleasant way.

In the end, that’s all information we need in order to determine whether or not we really want to make a commitment into a true partnership with this other person.

This process is basically the same no matter what kind of relationship we’re looking at. We have variations for building work relationships, hobby-oriented relationships, best friend relationships, and significant other relationships. Relationship building always follows a certain dynamic.

Getting to Know You

Building and nurturing relationships are what marketing is all about. Unfortunately, building “marketing relationships” is often portrayed as some magic trick that only the experts can do.

It’s simply not true. You can do it, too. And, once you realize that any “magic” that is being done is actually the same as what you’re already doing in your everyday life, the world becomes your oyster.

Let me walk you through different phases of inter-personal relationship-building to illustrate what I’m getting at.

Introductions: Getting Interested

Here’s a secret for you: I don’t always find the people I’m around all that interesting. It might be because of the things they say. It might be the way they carry themselves. It might be their attitude toward other people. it doesn’t really matter what it is, but the fact is I simply don’t find everybody interesting. These are the people I don’t want deeper relationships with.

When you’re building a relationship, the first thing that has to happen is interest. Maybe it has to do with a shared activity. Maybe it has to do with shared values. Maybe it has to do with shared passions. Whatever that connection point happens to be, it generates interest in doing something with this other person.

Now, at this point, I want to emphasize that the interest is in “doing”. So, you might want to simply have another conversation. Or maybe you want to take in a game. The focus is on doing because you don’t really know who this person is yet. So, generating interest in doing things together that both people will find enjoyable is the first task in building a relationship.

Connecting: Growing Trust

As you spend time with someone through shared activities, you get to know them a lot better. You have conversations that take you a little deeper. You find out that this person is more than they appeared when you first met. After all, we all have our initial mask that we wear for appearances to make a good impression. Now, the masks are starting to come down.

It’s time to finally get to know this other person. As you share your thoughts and feelings, it starts to feel a bit risky, but somehow you trust them so it feels right. You know sharing more will be worth it. You’re connecting on a deeper level. And as the sense of safety grows, you become more and more comfortable being vulnerable.

You expect them to be open to who you are, with your good side and bad. The relationship is mutually freeing as you move from just “doing” things together to truly “being” together.

Authority: Filling a Need

As you continue to get to know each other, you notice one another’s strengths. Is this person good at plumbing? Is this person really good at relationships? Is this person good at finances?

Everybody has those niches in their lives where they know something that others don’t. When those areas of strength overlap with another person’s area of need, you have great opportunities to go farther in a relationship. If I need help with my kitchen sink drain and I don’t know anything about it, I’m probably going to talk with my friend first who is good at plumbing. What do I do? Is it simple? Is it so complex I need to hire someone? Can you just please come over and help me with this?

My plumber friend then becomes an authority because I believe he has the expertise necessary to help me overcome my problem. He becomes my go-to in times of need.

This building of authority and building of trust continually occur together. Just because someone has the authority to help me out doesn’t mean I necessarily trust them enough to invite them into my life. Likewise, just because I trust someone enough to invite them into my life doesn’t mean I believe they have the authority to help me overcome my problem. So both of these need to happen alongside one another.

Partnership: Continually Generating the Desire for More

Who are your “best friends”? They are the ones you want to spend your best time with because you know it’s going to be well-spent. You’re going to have great conversations. You’re going to have fun. You’re going to get things done. Sure there may be frustrations, but overall the experience will be enriching. It is a mutually vitalizing relationship that you just can’t get enough of.

The same with significant others. when we start looking at long-term partnerships. we’ve decided that the compatibility is definitely there. You anticipate the wonderful things that will happen when you dedicate yourself to this other person exclusively.

These relationships are all about more. I want to spend more time with you, so I’m blocking off my schedule to give you the rest of my life. Or, if the relationship is less significant, whenever free time opens up, you’re the person I call to see if you want to do something. This level of partnership—from best friend to spouse—can take various forms, but they are all about “more”.

Marketing Relationships Follow the Same Pattern

When I say “marketing funnel” how do you feel? For many, it’s intimidating.

I don’t want you to feel intimidated by marketing. I don’t want you to cringe when you imagine what a marketing funnel should look like.

A marketing funnel is simply a way to tap into the natural human dynamic of relationship building in order to transfer the process to marketing relationships. It is about turning the process into an intentional system that generates predictable business results.

The key to success in any small business is mastering marketing. Yet, so many business owners feel intimidated by it. I totally understand. A lot goes into it.

But it helps when you realize that you’re already doing it in your everyday life in all of your current and new relationships. All you really need to do is transfer that dynamic to marketing your business.

Get Leads & Clients

One of Heather’s goals for this year is to help demystify marketing for business owners so that they can learn how to market their own businesses efficiently so they can make more money, help more people, and have more time to do what they love.

That’s why she’s created the FREE Get Leads & Clients Masterclass. It is designed to tackle the number one struggle that small-business owners face, which is (just like the title says) getting leads and clients through building quality marketing relationships.

In the free masterclass you will learn the three areas you need to focus on to build a marketing system that builds relationships:

1. Empathic messaging – the best way to connect with someone is to help them realize you understand them. By knowing their problems, fears, goals, and dreams as well or better than they do your ideal clients will feel understood, drawing them in to want to know more.
2. Efficient mechanics – this is the “funnel” part, that helps you stay in touch with your new leads so they can get to know you and you can earn their trust.
3. Effective marketing – discover how to avoid ever having to “sell” your services and products by “serving” your audience with marketing that makes a difference in their life, whether they buy or not.

If you’re interested in knowing more, go here to get access to the Free Masterclass. I know you’ll love the training and you’ll find that marketing is a lot more natural than you think.